Where Dwell The Gods?

A comic offering from several years ago; part of a bantering exchange on the PPP site prior to it's apocolyptic crash. I was glad to find it; it reminded me of some good mates sadly long since moved on and some good times.

It's in a similar vein to "The Committee for the Formation of a Pagan Creation Theory"


Where Dwell The Gods?


'Where o! where do the gods reside?
the opinions are many, the theories divide
The Norse have Asgard, way up high
the Mediterraneans look to the sky,
Mount Olympus is a "des res," all will agree
where good Greek gods go, to relax by the sea:
we Celts have the Otherworlds, Tir Taingiri
while Manannán rules the wide western sea.
So what do they put on their RSVP?
what postal code, or locality?
are they in heaven or are they in hell
where do the gods of our nations dwell?
I've read all the theories, short daft and long
and I'm here to tell you they're all bloody wrong!
I know the secret, the homes of the gods -
they live next to me the noisy auld sods!

There's Thor with his hammer, banging away
the noise of his thunderstick booming all day.
Tthere's Aengus Óg in his "bachelor pad"
a man of his age, it's really quite sad.
Next Door but one, is the frog-god Hekat
and Diana the Huntress, she shot next door's cat.
I'm kept up each Friday by the parties next door
where a certain Adonis relives days of yore.
The poker game held just across the road:
guests wearing togas, helmets or woad!
where Zhu Rong, and Shongo and Yatikka Taccu
came to blows with Umvelinqangi, Belanus and Wu!
the Gardai when they came, were slightly perplexed
(there's not many cells can hold gods who are vexed)

...so they gave them a caution, and tried to look tough
while Hora-galles kept shouting "C’mon ya big puffs!"
The neighbours are moving, the prices are down
the gods of all nations have invaded our town;
the residents committee is in complete disarray
since the incident with the flying horse at the last open day.
An Morrigiu is sitting in my garden right now
talking with what appears to be half woman - half cow
The three fates sit spinning and I don't like the way
they looked at me and went ""Snip, snip, whayhay!"
O where do the gods of the world dwell?
on my road, gods help me! I'm moving to HELL!'

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