Forgiveness, Some ruminations by Maureen Aisling Duffy-Booze

1. This is a piece written by a writer, musician and philosopher whom I greatly admire and am proud to call Cousin/sister. In keeping with recent themes of Truth, forgiveness and the past it struck me as very timely. My own feelings on forgiveness are that firstly, one can only forgive for hurts done to oneself, not to others. I agree with Simon Weisenthal, no one can forgive on behalf of the dead. Secondly, I think that one can let go of anger and hurt - eliminate the damage done to one's own life by those emotions - without ever actually "forgiving" the actions of another. However as a general rule of life the following strikes me as very empowering, and true. I especially love to think of forgiveness, or as I would see it, letting go, as a gift we give to ourselves rather than a loss from us to the person who injured us.

   
   

   I want to explore in the future the concept of forgiveness further, and the power dynamics involved in granting forgiveness or withholding it.

   Til then I thought you too might enjoy the following!

   
   

   
   

   I am thinking today about forgiveness Maureen Aisling Duffy-Boose

   
   

   I am thinking today about forgiveness. 

   Most of us think of forgiveness as a gift we choose to give to, or to withhold from, people who have injured us, and many times we expect something in the way of an apology and an attempt to make amends before forgiveness is granted. But this isn't really the way forgiveness works. Forgiveness of the Other is a gift we give, not to them, but to ourselves.

    It ...

   doesn't require their apology. It doesn't require their making amends. It doesn't require their even knowing about it. What forgiveness does, when this tool is correctly applied, is free us from the burden of resentment, hatred, anger, and the unfair crowding in our head and heart which is caused by the unwelcome presence of someone else's pile of stinking shit. People are going to be unkind, unfair, inconsiderate, and sometimes, yes, even downright cruel and mean. People are going to say ugly things about us, do mean things to us, and sometimes, yes, go out of their way to hurt us. But--there is something here to consider.

    Whatever someone else says or does to us or about us, is really about them Selves. Someone else's actions in your direction speak volumes about them and not a word about you. What other people say, or think, about you, is not any of your business. And what you choose to do about the hurt is really all about you and not a bit about them. What you choose to do, when you choose to forgive, is to free your Self. You exorcise that demon someone else put in your head with their unkind words, that demon to whom you decide no longer to give head-room. You clear out that pile of stinking shit someone else shoveled into your House of Self, and you decide it doesn't belong to you and you're getting rid of it. 

   And then--you breathe free. You let go. You think to yourself, "You poor thing, to have such thoughts about me, to say such things about me, to do such things to hurt me. I reject them all. You, and your unkind words and deeds, have no Power over me. I take back my Power. I forgive you." And then, you heal. You walk free in the world. And you recognize that everything that happens in your life is really under your own control, no matter who else says or does it. You forgive, you love, you nurture yourself, and you walk in a world of beauty, a world of your own choosing, not the toxic ugly world someone else might want to impose on you. That world doesn't belong to you. It's theirs. Forgive them. Maybe some day they might figure out how to forgive themselves. 

   
   copyright - all rights reserved by the author, do not reproduce without express permission

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